Soliloquy

Before the full brunt of my frustration even makes it out of my mouth, he’s already saying “it’s a thankless job”.  We’re talking about my stint broadcasting monthly calls to scores of listeners over closed phone lines.  I know we’re delivering great content that I’m really proud of, but the lack of interaction with the audience causes me to wonder if my message is resonating. The opportunity for connection comes only at the end of a lengthy presentation and requires a brave soul willing to vocalize what could possibly be deemed a “dumb” question by the multitudes listening over the airwaves.  It’s no wonder I forever leave these calls with no idea whether the tree I just felled in the forest made any sound at all.

And it’s not just at work that I’m faced with this deafening silence, it seems to be everywhere these days:  Sullen teenagers able to muster little more than a grunt in response to some of my most sagacious counsel; an immature relationship tumbling tacitly into the abyss. Absent of any dialogue we’re left to our own devices to imagine how our words are interpreted, too often quick to discount ourselves, believing what we say is so awful no one can bear to respond, so meaningless it’s not worthy of acknowledgement or so lackluster it simply wasn’t heard at all.

Where do we find the strength to persevere when those we’re most desperate to connect with have nothing to say?

When our words appear to fall on deaf ears it’s really tempting to think that we need to change something about ourselves in order to ignite a reaction or response.  We start to question our viewpoint, approach or plan of action.  We assume we’re somehow wrong because no one has validated us by saying we’re right. We doubt ourselves, thinking our ideas aren’t so great. We become a little less of who we are inside in hopes that this will somehow evoke the positive response we’re desperately seeking from those on the outside. We veer off of our true north for fear of standing alone.

But what if we believe instead in the true power of our words?  What if we expect that not only are they heard, but they’re so inspiring, impassioned, relevant and genuine that they warrant digestion, consideration, contemplation?   What if we believe what we say has so much merit it could possibly change a viewpoint?  Imagine your words changing someone’s world. They can, and they do.

So here’s what I say:  Speak graciously and respectfully from your heart, every time, and bear the silence.

When you do this you walk away feeling strong knowing the words you’ve spoken represent your authentic self.  You haven’t colored them, diluted them, sugar-coated them or made them sound like anybody else’s.  If another word is never uttered on the topic, you know your real view is on the table. And it’s fermenting.  In this ever-loving silence your brand is building, your reputation growing, your authority rising, your credibility mounting, your convictions rooting, your belief system becoming firmly entrenched. There’s no doubt people will come to know who you are.

This is how our children learn our value system and beliefs.  This is how our teams understand the vision and the mission we’re asking them to work toward.  This is how the one we’re looking for finds us.

The forest may be quiet but that doesn’t mean the tree you take down goes quietly.